Caution. All these poems are dealing with everything I was going through with the ideas of Twin Souls, true love, and finding just that.
1.
How can this feel so right, so true?
And the signs, they keep pointing back to you
There are times when I feel like
Just giving this all up
But I know at the end of the day
I’d rather spend these empty nights
Thinking of you, rather than
feeling the warmth of another
’cause I know, I know
That through it all
I would be wishing it was you
And maybe it’s crazy,
maybe it’ll never happen
But I got to believe that
That we only hit
the tip of the iceberg
So just hold on, just hold on
I know time can erase memories
And maybe time will tell you
to move on, to let go,
to give another one your heart and soul.
And maybe you should, maybe you should
But I just can’t, I can’t tell you lies
Because even if your face
disappeared from my mind
My heart and my soul never forgets,
never will let go.
‘Cause you’ve melted ice with flames,
melted my heart with one single glance
And brought me standing at the edge, the brink
of the world and the universe. Standing in awe
as the stars surround me. Did you know, did you know?
That when the stars are at their brighest, I will always remember.
Because everything points me back to you.
2.
If I was brave enough, I would’ve stood in front of you
Show you exactly who I am and who I need to be
But each time I look in your eyes, I know that I can’t pretend
Not in front of you, not with you standng in front of me
Because you are me and I am you. And the secrets I keep
Only you have the key to sort out the myth from Truth.
You know me. Everything I wish to hide away,
it only took a second to make me realize
That only you could find a way
to unlock all my doors, to make me face
my greatest fears. Only you, only you…
And I tried to keep this all inside. Tried to make-believe
You didn’t have this influence over me. My heart trembles
and quakes, because it knows the truth. That these walls, these walls
will crumble to my feet.
And as I attempt to stand in front of you,
you standing in front of me. Pretending I can get over you.
You can see right through my lies, because I am you
and you are me. You reflecting in me, as I you.
3.
YOU are
like expresso beans,
covered in dark chocolate.
Sweet, addictive, and downright dangerous.
And how I love to taste the bittersweet taste
of the danger, of the temptation. A taste so divine,
it has to be illegal, has to be wrong.
But how can it feel so right at the same time?
You keep me up at night, with these questions
These unanswered, unresolved questions.
And even though I shouldn’t,
I can’t help myself, I’m itching for another taste.
4.
And I just wanted one night
to show you how much I love you
One night, one tangible night to give you
something to remember me by
And you say those words, those words…
How can you, how dare you, how could you
say that it’ll break your heart?
Yet you give the impression at times
that you’ve tasted and stolen honeyed nights
of bliss, sweetness, and pleasure.
No strings attached, no promises need to be made
Yet you can walk her home, walk her to her door,
maybe walk her to her bed, and maybe then share your body
with her in her very bed. ‘Cause she’s not me, she’s not me.
Tell me, I want to know. Who’s heart was broken this time?
Was it yours, was it mine?
And all I wanted was just one night
to pretend that you were mine. Maybe I ought to feel special
that you’d never show me disrespect
But there are times I wish,
that you would’ve seen me in a different light.
Because she has the only thing I wanted to walk away with,
To cherish, to have something to remember us by
Sure, I might have your mind, your heart, and your soul,
but she has the tangible memories,
memories that will never be mine.
5.
Was it because she was more beautiful?
Was it because she could look you in the eye?
Was it because you valued her intelligence and her mind?
Was it because she wasn’t me?
In mind? In heart? In soul? Even in body?
Did it make it that much easier
to look her in the eye, to touch her, to be with her
Because she wasn’t me. Maybe I had it all wrong.
Maybe it had been her all along.
But I thought that you knew the differences,
knew what was in mind and heart, rather mind and body.
I had thought you would’ve seen the diamond in the rough,
but maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was wrong all along.
And maybe I saw in you something extraordinary,
maybe I put too much pressure? Maybe I had too high of expectations,
but I had thought I had seen this exquisite light
within those very eyes, that could melt the coldest of hearts.
Shall I tag myself as one of your many victims?
Because I’m starting to see a pattern. Did all of them fall for you
this quick? Did they have a chance to run? But I had run.
Just not fast enough, quick enough. Maybe I had been running in circles. Then falling and tripping right back into you.
So maybe I had it wrong.
Maybe I had it wrong all along.
But I swear you looked at me differently.
Maybe that’s what they all say at the end,
when it all sinks in. That I never had you,
never captured your heart.
*
I will chase dreams
until dreams become reality
and I find the way back to the Truth
and find strength within it.
If I falter, if I hesitate
I pray that the strength
that has always resided within me
will help me brave the storm.
It is through my faith, that I uphold
the life path and lifestyle I choose.
It is through this freedom of choice
that I declare wholly, truthfully, and loudly
that I am what I am.
And in this old, familiar light and flame
that shines through me, through my eyes,
through my actions, through my life,
I will live the life that I was intended to live,
bear the life purpose I was given,
and I choose to serve this life path
entrusted to me. I will take up my cross
and fulfill my destiny.
In the Truth, in the Word, in the Light,
I will escape the shadows of my past, insecurities,
and issues, and find confidence in becoming
and being the person I am needed to be.
*
i’m a darker shade in the spectrum of dark to light
don’t be fooled by the light in my eyes
they’re deceiving, so deceiving
it’s tragic, it’ll end tragically, so I advise you
to turn around and walk away
little do you know, the error of my ways
little do you know, the truth of who I am
and who I used to be, I can promise you
that the light, it’s fooling you
it’s fooling you, it’s fooling you
Cause there’s nothing left
that’ll blind you enough for you to stay
You think I’m an enigma, something interesting
for you solve, to figure out
but if you only knew the truth
surely you must know, you scare me
you petrify me, because you look straight through me
you penetrate my soul and strip down the walls
and I’m left with nothing, to hide me from your innocent eyes
such innocent eyes – please don’t think it was your fault
i’m the one to blame, in this chaos I’ve created
***
::V1::
I fear I’ve gone too far
for you to reach out to me
and pull me back
I wish I had the strength
to feel the things I did
when I was living in the moment
and letting you see me
letting you in, letting you breathe me in
but you didn’t know
that my fears could get the best of me
and I shake at your presence
You make the walls around me crumble
with one look, it breaks the ice
that surrounds me and my soul
and I’m not ready to be freed
from the chains of my sins
::Bridge::
And I wouldn’t count on my strength
to pull you through
I wouldn’t wait for the right moment
to get through to me
Even though you can’t see my legs moving
I’ve been running
running for days, and I’m afraid that
I’ve run too far for you to get to me
::Hook::
It’s too late, it’s too late
for you to see me
as I wanted you to
It’s too late, it’s too late
to take back
the actions I’ve made
::Chorus::
You could be my salvation
the one thing, that makes me spill
all my secrets, with one look
you gut me straight through
and who I am and who I used to be
is standing before me
You bring out the best of me
You bring out the worst of me
don’t you see, don’t you see
You’re the antidote I never deserved
::V2::
And I apologize
for my lack of confidence
I regret that I couldn’t
fulfill the promise I had in my eyes
I regret that I didn’t have the power
to make things flow between you and me
And there’s nothing I wouldn’t have done
to change Fate and destiny
But I’ve chosen the path I’m following
and it’s too late to turn back
and retrace my steps to lead me
right back to you and to that moment
where I made myself home
in the depths of your eyes
***
::Hook::
I won’t let you break me open
I won’t let you in
I won’t let you break me open
I won’t let you in
‘Cause you can’t save me
You can’t save me
there’s just too much to tell you
too many things for me to say
but these words, these words
I’m choking on these words
and I’m finding it harder
to keep faith in my abilities
and I’m losing myself along the way
It hurts me to walk away like this
but it’s for the best, it’s for the best
it’s for your best interest for me to walk away
::chorus::
and if I linger in your mind
please push me aside
choose someone who can give you
the paradise you seek
and if you think about it, my dear
It’s better off this way
You’re safe, you’re safe
from the likes of me
And I didn’t mean to be Helen of Troy
I didn’t mean to be the unattainable Juliet
I wanted the simplicity of what could’ve been
you and me, me and you
But I’m wrapped up in a blanket of fears
that have darkened the canvas of my emotions
the paints that I’ve created my own world
has dulled and blackened and in a different light
you might’ve seen me in a better perspective
And lost focus of the real truth behind me
:Bridge::
And when an angel falls from grace
they fall from the clouds and shatter on the earth
and what once was is no more
what once was was no more
you just see the reflection of an angel
that could’ve been great, could’ve been beautiful
you just see a reflection
***
These waves been bearing down on me
As hard as water eroding rock
They’re chipping the surface
They’re chipping away the ice
Walls that I keep around me
They’re breaking under the weight
Breaking under the pressure
And I never meant for it
To get this bad
And I never meant for it
To hurt this much
But you got this hold over me
And I’m trying to get a hold of myself
I’m trying to get control of myself
But I’m losing grip, losing myself
in you, in you, in the depths
of your eyes
in the depths of your soul
And you might’ve not meant it
You might not even mean it
But you got me hooked
in your eyes, in your words,
in the way you speak
I can’t shrug off this feeling
I can’t shrug you off
my mind, my heart, my soul
You’ve left an impression
That has burned into
my skin, my mind, my body,
and my soul
And there’s just so much I want to say
So much I want to tell you
But you don’t even know
You don’t even know
I get a little insecure
When you look me in the eye
You make me nervous
When your eyes sweeps across me
And I wish I had the nerve
To whisper the secrets
that escape through my traitorous
eyes and body
And I’d tell you things
that would leave me blushing
I’d tell you all my secrets
Watch them sparkle in your eyes
And tip the corners of your mouth
*
If I could, I’d show you everything
you desire within my eyes
I’d let you see all that I am
and all I wanna be
But I just can’t seem to let you in
Can’t seem to let you
see all of me
And I apologize, I apologize
for not being able to be strong enough
To give you everything you want
And I apologize, I apologize
for not having the courage to let you in
If I, if I, if I could
I’d tell you, I’m falling, I’m falling, I’m falling
and I can’t think straight
when you’re around me, because your presence
overwhelms me, suffocates me
If I, If I, If I could
I would, yes, I would, tell you
I’m yours, forever yours, always yours
But you don’t know ’cause I can’t just can’t
show you that you mean more to me,
you mean more to me than I let on
there’s just this wall, that won’t come down
There’s this barrier, that refuses to break
and I’m running out of time, I know I am
But I can’t seem to shake it, can’t shake this
And it’s driving me crazy, making me weak
I wish, I wish, I could give you a sign
To tell you
**
Don’t you hurt me,
don’t you say, you give up
on me yet
just give me some time
to feel this out
give me some time
to make up my mind
all I’m asking is for
is a little bit of time
before you leave me behind
before you, before you
walk away, just wait for me to say
that I’ve always cared, always wanted
to look you in the eye, and tell you all my secrets
tell you that all I wanted was for you stay
with me, with me, alone with me
***
Am I afraid of love, or am I afraid of myself
Is my greatest fear not of getting hurt
but seeing the most honest part of me
Shine through, exposing the most raw,
most true, most passionate self, a side of me
that I tuck away deep within myself.
So nobody can know, nobody can see
How much I’ve lost, How much I gave up,
how much I’ve changed
i keep pressing the repeat button, replaying songs,
hearing the words, their warnings, telling me to embrace love
with open arms, open heart, but leave it to me
to walk away from the only thing, that could bring me alive
Leave it to me, to run from the thing that causes rivers of passion
to boil and run like molten lava through my veins
**
Let me transform, let me become what I need to be
before you try to improve upon me, before you tell me who I should be
how I should be, and I know you mean well, I know that you care
But I’m asking you, I’m begging you, to believe in me, trust in me
Believe that I’ll be able to get through this life on my own
Cause that’s all I ask is that you have faith in me
That I can conquer all that I encounter, that if I need to
I can take on the world, if that’s where life takes me
I need you to be, I just need you to be, on my side
That’s all I ask, that’s all I’ll ever ask, just be on my side
***
If I could ease out from
The ribbons of the cocoon
That stifles my courage, binds me,
and clips my wings.
I would chase
The silver lining of dreams,
I would lift
My face and feel the heat
Of the sun
Kissing my skin,
And I wouldn’t
Be afraid
Of the truth,
Of the promise
Of fate – of destiny.
But I feel like the invisible wings
Are glued to my back
And I’m drawing too close to the sun.
Just drawing too close for comfort
And I feel myself
Melting from the intensity.
I just don’t have the faith
To catch fire and not get burned.
But I’m not strong enough
To withstand the fire
That burns within you.
I’m not strong enough
To contain the emotions
That spread through me.
You set me on fire,
And what if I can’t
Be reborn from the ashes
to raise above like a phoenix?
***
If you knew the power
That resides within your being
You would never
Question your capacity
To accomplish your dreams.
And I bet you have no idea
That it’s in you
To move mountains
To quench the thirst
Of parched throats
To fulfill your destiny
To bring light to the darkness
And heal the deepest wounds.
You could be the salvation,
You could be the cause of the light
That shines in the depths of eyes
That have finally seen hope.
And they’ll look to you,
They’ll look to you.
Cause you have the power
To bring down the castles
You’ve built in the sky
And build them on the earth.
